I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Randomize
