dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
