Soap is not a condiment
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
