I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
3pm strippers are depressing
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
They have beer where we have blood.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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