Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
