My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize