He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
