I didn't shave. On purpose
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
