i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
FUCK WHALES
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
