But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize