Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
