So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize
