I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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