so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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