So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
