so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
