I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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