he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
