last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
