and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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