butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize