just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
