Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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