Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
