I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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