I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My vagina just clenched in fear
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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