So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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