I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize