You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
