Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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