So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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