Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
