Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
