i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
