Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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