Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
