U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
