I feel great
I just peed on a car
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
