so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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