I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
