he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
