i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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