Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
