Don't you send me to vm
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
