Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
