Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
