super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
