the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
