I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
