I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
