just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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