i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
