Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just high enough for therapy.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
