SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
