now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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