He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
