awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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