he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
