it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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