i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
