My underwear smells like fireworks.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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