THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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