..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
