So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
