she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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