I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
