Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
