i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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